Wednesday, January 23, 2013

A terrible Tuesday in ten easy steps!

Hi all of you! ^^

So you've might noticed my absence from the blog yesterday (Did you miss mee?? :3), and that was simply because yesterday really wasn't my day. Seriously, I don't think it was meant for me to even get out of bed.
I think I might just make a list over yesterday:

  1. I force myself out of bed with a dizzy head and heavy eyes. I think for a slight second "good it's weekend soon" but I soon realize it's only Tuesday.
  2. I'm at the bathroom getting ready for a new day. I'm fighting the urge to take "quick nap" on the floor. I try a new type of concealer I just bought, but suddenly notices that something, somewhere, went terribly wrong and now most of my face has turned light green. Yep. I want to remove it but realize the clock is working against me as always.
  3. I'm rushing to the kitchen and my mom complains on me being late for breakfast again. She isn't in a particularly good mood either, and somehow we get into a big fight about everything that's ever happened, or could happen. I'm tired, sick and mad already, so the fight really gets into me. During the fight she calls me "useless" by accident, and I start to think she is completely right. 
  4. Feeling down, sad and useless, I begin my walk to school. It's way past time, so I already know I'll be too late again. Frustration from past times well up inside me, as it tends to do when I'm in a dreadful mood. Suddenly the snowflakes melting in my face gets mixed up with my own tears, and I decide I just can't arrive at school like this. I turn around and walk home.
  5. I lie down on the couch and listen to sad and negative music. I fall asleep for many hours. 
  6. My stepfather picks me up to my appointment with my homeopath. (He's still unaware that I skipped school.) The appointment might just be the one good thing of the day, as we talked about the problem and I felt a little better.
  7. My stepfather picks me up again. He has a really big, tall car, and as I climb up in the front seat I hear a discreet "riitch". Tadaa! A part of my pants just ripped up. It's a rather large, quite visible gash too. 
  8. My headache is getting even stronger as we eat dinner at my grandmother's house. I confess to all that I skipped school, and try to explain why. 
  9. We agree that I'll be skipping theater practice too, as I'm probably about to collapse or kill someone any minute now. 
  10. We get home and I call Gulli and tell her all about my horrible life. Then I go straight to bed, and hope you readers will forgive me for not blogging.  

Sounds lovely, right? I hope it will be a long time before a day gets that crappy again...

Today I've been focused on school work ^^ It it one my new year resolutions that I don't fall behind there. 
I've also decided to focus ever more on my recovery from last years breakdown (read further down on the blog for more details), so I made it clear to myself: meditate more, sleep more when you're supposed to sleep, and don't stress yourself needlessly.

With that mentioned, I like to listen to music box tunes when I need to relax and ease my mind. I loved music boxes when I was little, so I might got it from there. It's perfect for sleeping too! ^.^
I can share two of my favorite "don't want to think more, just sleep"-melodies with you:

They're so calm and soothing! I also recommend walking with these on your iPod in the rain. :3
Or if you don't have rain, check out very random, but clever.

Hope you all forgive my lack of blogging!

Sweet dreams <3

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