Summer vacation soon! ~

Hi sweeties! Long time no see!

I really wonder where all my energy went. It's the final days of school over here now, next Thursday I'll be graduating... So I'm really using my last energy reserves before summer vacation to get over and done with it. Today we got to know our subject and theme for the final oral exams that will be held on Tuesday.
I got English! My theme is "Being young on the edge", so I choose to focus on youth rebellion. Finally a task where I can express some of my own opinions, not just the endless mathematics!

Yesterday we had a day off, so I got time to catch up on non-school stuff. There are so many things going on now, you have no idea! I'm really tired, and I can't wait for the vacation. My grades are finally where I want them to be now, so I can relax with good conscience ^^
As you may know I'm self-studying Japanese now, and that won't take a break just because it's vacation. The blog won't take a break either, of course! I hope I'll have more time to write here once school is finished. Also, a few days ago I got chosen as the new leader in our theater for next season! I'm really looking forward to begin with a new play! Luckily I got a co-leader, so I won't take on too much responsibility.
Since I had some time on my hands yesterday, I took on a long neglected task: bathing my dog Tinto.
Tinto has A LOT of fur, and he really dislikes water. Sounds like fun, right?

"I thought... I thought you loved me :("

"Do you see how much pain I'm going through because of you? :(("

"Please stop... I promise I'll be good for the rest of my life!"

"Wiiih, finished! ~"

And here's a practicing sheet from my Hiragana studying. It's starting to look okay, right? :D
Now I just have Katakana and Kanji left... 

I can't believe I'm graduating next week. I haven't had the time to think about it, so I realized just now. I'm really excited to see what lays ahead of me now that I'm finished with this period of my life. 

I'm sure you all are feeling excited for the summer as well! Remember, no matter how hard things may seem in the present, there are always good things waiting for you in the future! 

Stay well, everyone! Until next time ~

My dual personality

Hii everyone!

Good news: we're not dead! Just half dead. Both Gulli and I are down with a cold, and it's just two days until our theater premiere! Such a bad timing...
I stayed home from school today to nurse myself a little, and I figured it would be a good time to blog. It feels like I haven't blogged for ages now!
As Gulli told you we've had Russians over for a visit, it was so much fun! It really drained my energy though.
I had three living in my house, and only one of them spoke (a little) English! It was a bit exhausting to try to explain and make yourself understood on every single thing.
Of course, having foreigners on a visit is interesting too. Like that time they all stopped to take pictures of the scenery I walk past everyday. Russians are also so polite, and the boys are much better gentlemen than Norwegian ones. (Sorry, you guys.)
I was so surprised when one of them opened the car door for me! He had only known me for half a day.

Anyway, I'm really starting to feel my energy drain now. Yesterday my mother freaked out and claimed she couldn't remember the last time I seemed this tired. Apparently she has a sixth sense when it comes to my energy level. I know for sure things will be crazy the next days, but after Friday we'll get a chance to relax. This may sound weird, but I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to it or not.
Everytime we finish a play, I get this empty feeling inside. After all, we've worked for this since last autumn, and now it's suddenly all over.

In other words, I need to find new things to focus on! Working out comes high up on the priority list, as well as the blog of course. I've decided to use the upcoming time well, instead of sipping around because the theater season is over. Maybe I should practice cooking as well?
I've also thought about joining a local kick boxing/fighting sport club. I need a way to release all my frustration. I'm a good girl most of the time you see, so I tend to lock negative feelings away. This has started to transform me into some type of dual personality. (To those of you who are familiar with the term: I'm a 100 % yandere.)
I have these moments when I feel really psychotic, and almost opposite of my normal self. An evil, bitter, violent Silje, and I'm not kidding.
I've prepared a list with series I only watch in psycho-mode, and I have a playlist on my iPod designed to fit my evil thoughts. It has started to get pretty freaky by now, so I think it's about time I try to handle it.

I want this teddy bear so bad! It feels like we understand each other ^^ 

Ah well, I gotta run for theater practice now.

Talk to you later sweethearts ~

The Star Trek girl and the cockroach!

Hi sweethearts!

Today's been a quite regular day. At school I was trying my best to focus on math, and afterwards I went home, cooked myself noodles and walked the dog in a hurry before I went to theater practice.
It's been rather intense there, lately. Someone realized it's just a month until premiere, and as every single year, everything goes all-out crazy the last weeks.
Gulli and I are trying hard to get our characters right. Her main problem is to act in love, and mine is that I'm not craving enough attention. (I don't know if anyone has said that to me before o.o)

Our theater instructor, as you might picture him, is a very talented and eccentric man, and as we're getting closer to premiere his opinions really comes forth.

"Gulli! What are you? An actress in Star Trek? Cause' that's how you act! You teleport from one spot to another. When the maid says you'll come in from the front door, you can't come in from the side door! You've got brain cells, right? Use them!!"

"Silje, you need MORE ENERGY! You're opening the whole play. If you're gonna crawl in on the stage like a cockroach, the audience will find a trip to the grocery store to be more interesting! I don't care if you run and fall or rip your clothes, just get their attention! They don't want to look at a grey mouse, they want drama!" 

So, that's basically what's filling our days at the time. I'm wearing my costume half of the day, so I don't really bother so much about clothing now. That's why I've been often seen wearing a hoodie lately, and that doesn't happen too often.
I try a little though, and I've rediscovered the greatness of accessories! They're easy to put on and off when I have to change styling.
These are my favorite at the moment:

Found these super cute ear pieces at Glitter yesterday ^^

Hair bow from Tiara by Tracy Dizon. I noticed that I should have put it a little bit further down, but oh well.

Bow ring from Glitter

Me today ^.^

I'll try to keep you updated! :D

Sweet dreams <3

Spring stress!

Hi everyone! :D

Now it's officially arrived. "What has arrived?" you ask. It's SPRING STRESS! (A term I came up with a minute ago.)
"What is spring stress? -_-" you ask.
It's something I experience every year when winter is coming to an end. You see, I prefer to live through winter like a bear: I eat a lot, get fat, sleep through the whole thing, and then I wake up to the first rays of sunlight with (suddenly) a million of things to take care of. I'm just as surprised every year, and my little brain just can't seem to cope with the sudden changes.
We've entered April and I finally realized:

My theater group is having premiere in just a month. (Where is my script? Where is it?!)
I soon have to sign up schools for this years Operation Dayswork. (It suddenly feels scary to call strangers)
We're going to that cosplay convention soon. (How do I get this stupid wig on??)
We're going to Tokyo soon. (Not that soon, but I'm pretty sure there was some papers to fill in...by March?)
My exams are coming up. (I swear to you, if I get drawn up in math, I might have to kill someone.)
It will soon be time to dress more lightly. (Bikini figure? Who? ME? No.)

All these tasks and more hit me at the same time, and caused something I would call seasonal hangover. (Yep, another self-made term.)
What's a seasonal hangover, you say? It's when you've been really slacking off a whole season, and suddenly times are changing and you're struggling to adapt. This could also happen after the summer holiday.
You're standing there like: "What? Now? I have to do something? How? When? Why? Can I go to bed and pretend everything's normal when I wake up? Is it okay for me to lay down and cry?"

Even though you're confused, the society is quite merciless and force to you get going. But don't worry, it's completely okay to pretend it's a dream (until you wake up and realize it's not), and it's accepted to give up and cry as long as you get up again.
Pretty much like a roller coaster, right? Well, that's mostly what life is ^^

What I've been doing the whole winter. 

And you know what's funny? When I get stresses up, it's only mentally, and psychically I'm just as laid back as I've always been. So yeah, I do care, but I'm just really bad at showing it.

Am I the only one going through this?

Talk to you later ~

Here we go again!

Good evening everyone! ^.^
How are you doing?

I've been to a national gathering in Oslo for Operation Daywork(OD) this weekend. It was so much fun, I met new people and learned new things. And it was so good to meet old friends again! The thing you don't get a lot of during seminars is sleep. I'm pretty tired now, and as if that wasn't enough, an explosion of things to do happened when I came home! Once again school work and free time activities collided, and everything turned into one, big mess.

The plan was that Gulli would blog in the weekend while I was away, but unfortunlately some unexpected drama came up in her life.
She is turning 18 this Friday, and she's planning her party carefully. I'm sure you all watched a movie/series where the big birthday party turns into a hopeless drama, and well, we've seen some dangerous signs :/

Of course I'll continue to blog during this, I'll try to keep you updated on both our lives and other stuff! ^^
When there's a lot happening during a short period of time, you just have to find good ways to relax, and stick to them. For me, eating chocolate, meditating, listening to music and talking to good friends are a must. I'll also try to do more yoga when I have the time, as it really helps me to focus my mind and body. It gets me in better shape for spring too, win-win! I even went crazy at a book shop the other day, and bought three thick English novels. Anything for a little break from your own concerns, I guess :)

You might wonder why there's a picture of a laid back frog in this post? Well, that's how I feel now, at the end of the day. Luckily, my happy-go-lucky personality still shines through. At least it will do after a good sleep!

Good night and sweet dreams <3

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I'm such a messy head!

Hi everyone! ^^

Sorry for not blogging yesterday! There's a lot going on right now, and I was busy all day until I got home from theater practice in the evening. I was so tired, so I just took a long shower and went straight to bed. My mother is worried that I'll end up completely stressed out like last year, I guess she's really afraid I'll have a breakdown again :/ Today is no different, and I'm actually going to the theater in half an hour. Gulli is going too, and she'll bring a camera so we can take some pictures from our practices. The theater takes a lot of our time, and it's very important to us! So we thought you could have a sneak peak ^^

There are a few things bothering me these days, and the biggest crisis of them all is that I can't find my bank card!! I'm by the way not sure how you write that in English...? Anyway, it's a disaster! Considering my personality, I should be quite used to losing things everywhere and forgetting where I put my keys and money and phone but it's still annoying. And I'm not sure what's worse: losing my card or my mother losing her temper. Ooh, why do I have to so absent-minded all the time? :(

The funny game my stuff and I play everyday.

Something else that I hooked my mind into, is my possible exchange year to Tokyo. Damn, I know it's a year ahead in the future, but there's so much that needs to be fixed and figured out! I want it to be accepted as one of my school years, so I don't have to take the same year again when I return. But that's not easy, I tell you. Either way, I'll be stuck with A LOT of homework and exams. And what about the language itself? I need to learn more Japanese! The writing too!
Our theater have a premiere in three months, and we're not ready at all! And there is more to come, as the organization I'm a volunteer in; Operation Days Work (I'll tell you more about it later) is starting up again for 2013...
My mother has all right to be worried. And... my theater practice is starting in ten minutes! Why am I still here??

Hopefully you just got a slight impression of my life. Kind of busy, but in the end it's all worth it. I hope.

Talk to you guys later! :D now I gotta run...

Quick update!

Hi Friday people!

Just wanted to let you know that I probably won't be blogging today, (or at least it will be very late) since I'm going to a birthday party ^^ I'll try to get a lot of pictures though, so I can upload a post about it later :D Hopefully Gulli will write, and I'll try to upload something if I have time before I leave. I'm having troubles finding the right outfit and birthday presents, you see, since I didn't know about the invitation before today! Did someone say stress??

Talk to you later! ^.^

To Anania and Fredrikke :D

Living healthy the cozy way

Hi fellow candy-lovers!

Today I thought I was going to share with you my battle plan on healthy living this year! ^^
First of all, let it be said, I'm not the healthiest girl around. I'm a little to weak for chocolate, caffe latte and ice cream, and I'm very fund of having things cozy and comfortable. But I'm not the most unhealthy either, so this year I made it one of my new year resolutions to find a healthy way of living that I would really enjoy too! (People say that "without pain, there's no gain", but I'll find the most unpainful way)

That is why I made this list to follow:

1. Swap the cocoa or caffe latte with tea!
Tea is healthier and haw a lower amount of sugar and fat. Some people say that they don't like tea, but I'm sure that's a lie. There are endless sorts of tea out there! If you're having troubles finding one you like, I recommend going to a shop for nature medicine or another store where they are specialized in tea. I also recommend the brand YogiTea, as they have a lot of great tasting tea made for different types of problems: tea to help the digestion, tea to help against stress and so on.

2. Find a way of exercising that works for you!
Let's face it: you don't usually do your best if you hate what you're doing. Especially when it comes to exercise. In my case, I found yoga to be what works best for me. I don't really like team sports, as I feel like I'm letting my teammates down if I fail. Remember that this is highly individual, and only you know what works best for you! Once you find something you enjoy to do, exercising is going to be so much funnier ^^

3. Plan your meals to be healthy -and tasty!
I love food. I taste almost everything, and I'm always open to new ingredients. However, when something tastes bad, it tastes bad. And I don't believe in learning to like something either. Try to be a little creative with your meals. Fitness magazines are stocked with recipes, but you don't have to follow them strictly. Use recipes to get inspiration instead! You mostly know what's healthy or not anyway, so try to add the healthy stuff in the food you like. For example, use whole grain pasta instead of normal pasta. And you can also do some research to find totally new food to try out. Be creative, and plan and vary your meals.
Personally I love Asian food, especially Thai, and luckily that happens to be quite healthy too. Wok is my favorite dish, and it has so many vegetables in it. I'm sure there is a lot of healthy food out there you'll love too!

4. Treat yourself with spa instead of candy!
This line speaks for itself. I don't want you to ruin yourself on expensive spa treatment, but very little is needed to get a great home spa. A facial mask to use at home is much better for your skin than the caffe latte, and it's usually cheaper too. If you light a candle and add some aromatic oil to your bath, you'll have a luxury spa in no time. A simple foot bath does miracles to tired feet. So don't grab the chocolate bar when you come home after a stressful day, grab the massage oil!

This was some simple steps to a healthier life, which I'm going to follow myself. ^.^
I hope you find some of this helpful! If you're looking for a balanced and relaxed lifestyle, I also recommend meditation. I wrote a post about that some time ago, feel free to look it up :)

These are just supplements, I'm never giving up my precious Friday chocolate!
Bye bye :D

A little depressed? Yeah, me too.

Hello loved ones!

Today is a rather crappy day. I'm exhausted, frustrated, sad and I feel sort of ignored. Does it sound familiar? School wasn't bad either, it's just that I have tons of gloomy thoughts stocked up in my mind that keeps tormenting me. Confusing words coming from a meditation enthusiast? Yeah, I know. I've had trouble finding a solution for my problems though, and the main reason is that I don't know for sure why I feel so depressed. At the beginning of a new year, and everything!

And as always, you have Facebook. Honestly, it isn't many other webpages where you can find so much crap. Or maybe there is? Well, Facebook is being used by almost everyone in your social circle, so it's hard to avoid people you don't like at the moment, and it's very hard to control the content. Your news feed can be hilarious, sad, frustrating, boring and everything in between depending on who of your dear friends that has been active recently. I think one should be able to label Facebook content. Like: "stupid girls", "alcohol involved" or "relationships you don't wanna know about" or "annoying popular person that knows way too many people and have 200+ likes on his/her profile picture".
You don't want to hear about those when you're depressed. And so, you could just cancel out all posts with those labels... Ah, at least I can hope.

It is indeed very frustrating when you feel like you're just never good enough, pretty enough, effective enough and successful enough. I know it sound like a big cliche, but we often forget the most mean and merciless criticizer of all: ourselves. 

Sometimes there is so painfully little you can do about how things work, and how people see you.
And when you're way to tired to concentrate on pan flutes and breathing techniques, it's time for the classic emergency break.
Chocolate, sad/angry music, and a cute childish movie with a happy ending. 
It may not be a long term solution, but it works perfectly when everything else is wrong. Don't ignore any feeling, take it all out and actually taste it, so you're prepared to deal with them once you have the strength. Remember, it's absolutely perfectly fine to break down!

Hope you all have much happiness ahead of you, and have a nice weekend! ^.^
Now I'm going to eat chocolate and watch Barbie and the 12 dancing princesses.

Meditation: Why you should do it, and how to do it!

Hello everyone! ^.^

So I'm taking a break in my New Year's Eve preparations to write a new post to you. I've already found an outfit and got most things ready, and I promise there will be a "New Year celebration" post from us later!

Now, what I'm going to write about is something that's very important to me: meditation. I'm that type of person that usually take things on the go, and I tend to have very few worries(too few according to some of my friends). I keep peace of mind in my daily life, and try as much as I can to laugh away the problems. I also love to help friends with their troubles, and I don't mind having hour long conversations with someone to help them solve a problem.
But of course, we all have different sides of ourselves, and when my long, long patience disappears...it turns into a supernova of disaster! Just lately I had a serious breakdown after a long time with stress and pressure. You see, feelings are a very important part of being a human, but we often ignore them. Ignoring what you really feel, and always hide it away, is not only exhausting but it can also be dangerous!

How do you cope with you feelings? It's absolutely okay to cry and scream out your frustration when you're alone; do it whenever you feel like it! But if it's more a "sneaky" feeling, that always go around in the back of your head and destroys you slowly from the inside like poison...well, then meditation is right for you.
In fact, meditation is right for everyone! Not only does it release you from your feelings, but you're more likely to see solutions too!
So dry your eyes and heal your soar throat: it's a much more pleasant method waiting for you.  

What is meditation?

Meditation is basically getting in touch with your inner self. When you meditate you let both your body and your mind relax. It's different from screaming and listening to aggressive music to strengthen yourself, as those actions usually creates even more feelings. Instead of creating new feelings to cope with the old ones, you let go off them, leaving space for more constructive thoughts. ^^
There are many ways to meditate, and you will have to try a few times to find out what works for you.
In the beginning it's best to try to think as little as possible, and focus on one simple thing, like how you breathe.
Sit comfortable, in a position where you have good balance. I recommend the iconic "legs crossed and your back straight with your hands resting on your knees or balanced in the air". (Like you would picture Buddha)
Do not make it complicated though, it's hard to think of nothing when your ankle hurts "soo much"!
Music is highly recommended for relaxation and keeping focus. It doesn't have to be music, many prefer simple sounds.
My element is water, and I always relax the most to the sound of running water or rain.
Maybe you prefer the sound of a sparking fire, or rain forest sounds? Gotta try it all!

Myths about meditation:

Will I get strange visions? 
Not unless you have much fantasy that leads your thoughts astray, but you should try to focus on something simple. Let new thoughts come in, but don't let them stay too long. Picture your thoughts as a gentle breeze that blows through your mind. Uhm, or something like that.

Is it possible that I might call on a spirit or hear voices?
The one you'll be talking to is yourself. Some people though, claim that they hear the voices of God, protective spirits, angles or their ancestors. This is about religion though, and what thoughts you invite in. I'll say to listen to whatever comes up, that helps you.

Do I need a fitting environment to meditate? 
Not really. Meditation is about taking a journey inside your mind, not to a zen Buddhist temple in Himalaya.
It should be quiet around you, though. And YouTube can help you with nature sounds. With that said, meditate in the real nature whenever you can! It feels amazing!

Some music and sounds to get you started!
Rain of Purification by Oliver Shanti

Simple sound of running water

Forest sounds

Simple birdsong

Relaxation track with Chinese bamboo flute

Tai Chi by Oliver Shanti

Hope this helps everyone with stress and too many thoughts! ^.^