Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Ideal Christmas?

Hi cuties!
So today I wanted to write a bit about something that seems to be quite taboo in our modern society. What is Christmas? How should it really be celebrated? Maybe we put so much glory in the ideal Christmas that those who can not celebrate it that way, are left behind.
When I was 4 years old, my parents split up. Me and my mother moved back to her hometown, while my father stayed behind in the far south of Norway. It's not like it hurt me deeply. I was young, and I don't remember much of it. I got used to our way of living, and I was always excited when I was sitting at the airport, waiting for the plane that would bring me to my father. In fact, the first time I traveled by plain alone, I was only 5 years old!
Me and my mother lived alone all these years, and I never missed anything. But once I got older, my thoughts took a new direction. Why had everybody else a dad? Why did everyone have these perfect core families, with two parents and siblings? I started to feel lonely. When I was younger I was a quite vulnerable girl, and I had a lot of friends that treated me wrong. Nothing like it is today!
The worst time was Christmas. Before I was quite fund of it, but not anymore. I hated it. Me and my mother used to have a lot of fights, and in Christmas I was basically locked up in the house. It was a taboo to be with friends during Christmas time. Of course, I could meet them in daytime and play outside in the snow, but the afternoons and evenings got longer and longer. In Norway, most of the winter time is dark, since we're so far north. It's really cold and dark, and it very easy to get depressed and lonely.
I ended up crying in my bed on Christmas Eve, and New Years Eve were no different.
Okay, so this post got quite personal, but my question is: Are we expecting too much from Christmas?

There are many people out there celebrating Christmas all by their self, and there are many who can't afford to buy gifts for their children. Old people sitting all alone, and glancing out of the window.
People like me, who took a long walk outside in the cold winter night, and looked at the Christmas lights and through the windows of happy families celebrating together.

I decided for myself that this Christmas was going to be different, and so I talked to Gulli, which is my best friend, about my troubles in the past. We made an agreement to spend a lot of time together in the Christmas holiday, and if things got really bad, I could even spend Christmas Eve there! I didn't, but it felt great just to have the offer there. I mentioned this to another friend of mine, and she instantly replied: "Are you serious? Christmas is a family holiday! I would be really annoyed if a friend wanted to come on Christmas Eve."
That was not exactly supporting, and it just shows how hard it can be for some people to understand that loneliness comes in many forms.

Anyway, I wish you all a very merry Christmas filled with love and friendship! Remember, it's always okay to let people know if you're feeling down, instead of keeping it to yourself :)

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